I been out of the org a full 20 years.
What progress have I made?
Well, Im not angry anymore at the org.I dont even hate the GB.
I learnt a lot from reading all those old Watchtowers about mind control. But this has had an effect that has spilled over into the "real" world. Ive become very anti government, anti media, because, now, I see mindcontrol in my soup.
Im anti social and havent ,in many ways, broken the patterns I learnt while in the Borg, of treating people badly because I was jealous of their lifestyle of doing what they wanted. I learnt to be an asshole
to cover my desire to secretly run with worldlings. This hasnt changed.
what else?
Work.
Im a manual worker, Ive tried getting a formal education but cant seem to go thru with any course and finish it so as to gain the qualification and get a good job. I still look at people in their suits, ties and BMWs and tell myself they are "contemptible" because they prostitute their "purity" to the beast system.Sell out their principles.
Still the same arguement I used when I was a dub teenager condemning successful people because I wasnt allowed to be one of them.
I used to paint, write and read a lot.
In painting and writing I was well above average, but those things seem to have faded from me now. I havent touched a paint brush in 5 years. I painted out of psychic pain, purging myself. There seems nothing left to purge.
Good things that have happened:
Ive paid my house off, and we sit quite comfortably, but God, my life is so ordinary. Im disappointed that this is as much as I seem able to achieve.All in all, still alot of issues that are getting no nearer to resolution, are they.
I feel Ive been robbed of an essential opportunity to direct my own life, educationwise, that I seem incapable of retrieving.
Doubtless wsomeone will now suggest this or that self help book.
Ive read and practised dozens of them. Going thru with the change seems the problem. Perhaps this is part of my genetic heritage, and has nothing to do with the dubs.